I had the same experience, but it was any time I was on my feet. At first, it was blamed on my flat feet. Once I got supportive shoes, I still didn't like being on my feet. Even with a diagnosis of classical Ehlers-Danlos at the age of 7, my parents didn't put together that my dislike of exercise and moving would have anything to do with my "soft skin" and "extra flexible joints"--it was the early 90s so we didn't have as much info about EDS as we do now, so pain wasn't on anyone's radar. I now see that when I finished a chore quickly so I could sit down or only did 10 minutes of a 20 minute workout, it was because my feet hurt from my whole body being put together wrong. It wasn't because I was lazy which was my mother's rationale. I'm now in my 40s and mobility impaired, and I can't stop thinking of myself as lazy, especially on days when I don't move a lot due to pain.
Oh, Kate. I'm so sorry that yo have that voice inside your head when pain limits what your body can do. I have it, too. :( I have actually wondered if I might have EDS--I'm extremely flexible in some ways. My cousin has it, but I don't know if it's hereditary. Anyway, thank you for your comment and for reading!
It’s hereditary. After my daughter got diagnosed, so did an aunt, 3 cousins, and my sister. My daughter has severe joint pain, mostly in her feet and knees (and she’s thin) If you do have it, losing weight can help put less strain on hypermobile joints, but it isn’t a cure. And it definitely wasn’t the cause. Being too thin isn’t great either. My daughter struggles with not having enough muscle and fat to protect her joints. Also, when her symptoms flare, she has no cushion if she loses a few pounds. She’s had numerous surgeries and uses a wheelchair part time. Her plus size sister is perfectly healthy.
You definitely aren’t lazy! Your body just has limitations that others’ don’t. My daughter struggles with that too. She has less energy than other people because she’s in constant pain and fatigue. She’s in her 20’s, and feels like she should be able to do more. Exercise is great, but you have to listen to your body and do what you can tolerate. My daughter amazes me. If I dealt with what she does, every day of her life, I don’t know if I could get out of bed.
Omg same exact sports I was put in as a child! I hated it, I was terrible and it physically hurt. I also felt like I had to do it - to prove I was a “good” fatty trying to be thin. I love to swim and really want to find a way to be at a pool more.
Yes to the proving our worth as fatties trying to get thin. Have you ever read Stacy Bias’s good fatty archetypes? The fit fatty is one I have to actively resist because diet culture has told me that my worth is in fitness. https://stacybias.net/2014/06/12-good-fatty-archetypes/
Thank you, Amanda! Exercise is also a major struggle for me because I was never athletic and also because it was only a means to losing weight by the time I was a teenager. I have a rocker board that I enjoy but I still have to come to grips with exercising on my own terms instead of all the “rules.” This post is sooo helpful! I am not alone!
I had a similar experience as a child and young adult and any other time I've exercised in my life it has always been to lose weight. Now I don't exercise, I move my body however I enjoy it. That reframe has allowed me to start outdoor swimming, walking, kayaking, and more recently CrossFit, all without feeling that pressure because I'm doing it to enjoy it, get stronger, and improve my stability and balance, not change my body
I had the same experience, but it was any time I was on my feet. At first, it was blamed on my flat feet. Once I got supportive shoes, I still didn't like being on my feet. Even with a diagnosis of classical Ehlers-Danlos at the age of 7, my parents didn't put together that my dislike of exercise and moving would have anything to do with my "soft skin" and "extra flexible joints"--it was the early 90s so we didn't have as much info about EDS as we do now, so pain wasn't on anyone's radar. I now see that when I finished a chore quickly so I could sit down or only did 10 minutes of a 20 minute workout, it was because my feet hurt from my whole body being put together wrong. It wasn't because I was lazy which was my mother's rationale. I'm now in my 40s and mobility impaired, and I can't stop thinking of myself as lazy, especially on days when I don't move a lot due to pain.
Oh, Kate. I'm so sorry that yo have that voice inside your head when pain limits what your body can do. I have it, too. :( I have actually wondered if I might have EDS--I'm extremely flexible in some ways. My cousin has it, but I don't know if it's hereditary. Anyway, thank you for your comment and for reading!
It’s hereditary. After my daughter got diagnosed, so did an aunt, 3 cousins, and my sister. My daughter has severe joint pain, mostly in her feet and knees (and she’s thin) If you do have it, losing weight can help put less strain on hypermobile joints, but it isn’t a cure. And it definitely wasn’t the cause. Being too thin isn’t great either. My daughter struggles with not having enough muscle and fat to protect her joints. Also, when her symptoms flare, she has no cushion if she loses a few pounds. She’s had numerous surgeries and uses a wheelchair part time. Her plus size sister is perfectly healthy.
You definitely aren’t lazy! Your body just has limitations that others’ don’t. My daughter struggles with that too. She has less energy than other people because she’s in constant pain and fatigue. She’s in her 20’s, and feels like she should be able to do more. Exercise is great, but you have to listen to your body and do what you can tolerate. My daughter amazes me. If I dealt with what she does, every day of her life, I don’t know if I could get out of bed.
Omg same exact sports I was put in as a child! I hated it, I was terrible and it physically hurt. I also felt like I had to do it - to prove I was a “good” fatty trying to be thin. I love to swim and really want to find a way to be at a pool more.
Yes to the proving our worth as fatties trying to get thin. Have you ever read Stacy Bias’s good fatty archetypes? The fit fatty is one I have to actively resist because diet culture has told me that my worth is in fitness. https://stacybias.net/2014/06/12-good-fatty-archetypes/
I hadn’t but thank you for sharing! Excited to read, it’s also beautiful!!
Truly only quit sports because I broke my leg playing softball. I was happy to have a reason to quit even if it came with physical trauma
Oh no! I’m sorry you had to go through that to claim your autonomy!
Thank you, Amanda! Exercise is also a major struggle for me because I was never athletic and also because it was only a means to losing weight by the time I was a teenager. I have a rocker board that I enjoy but I still have to come to grips with exercising on my own terms instead of all the “rules.” This post is sooo helpful! I am not alone!
Yes! We are not alone! That is so key in unlearning the lies of diet culture!
I had a similar experience as a child and young adult and any other time I've exercised in my life it has always been to lose weight. Now I don't exercise, I move my body however I enjoy it. That reframe has allowed me to start outdoor swimming, walking, kayaking, and more recently CrossFit, all without feeling that pressure because I'm doing it to enjoy it, get stronger, and improve my stability and balance, not change my body
I love that! Thanks for sharing!