i love the question prompts you shared! while reflecting on them, i was noticing how some of the expectations i have of my body are (nasty) gifts from society/the patriarchy/capitalism. i like reframing my perspective to see these expectations as things i can choose to reject (because tearing down oppressive systems is a big value of mine), and rebuild however i want. i also know that i will still experience disappointment, but with freframing i can practice reminding myself that disappointment with my body is not a indication of moral failing.
Excellent article. Not only do I deeply relate to what you have written, but I posted an article called “I Will Never Be a Horse”-which uses the time my grandmother called me a cow to discuss the contexts in which our bodies exist. I am happily blown away by the connection of our pieces. Feels validating. 🎯
I've noticed that the only body type other than fatness that you ever reference is "thin" or "thinness." You never mention something along the lines of "medium," "straight-size" (this means neither thin nor overweight), "proportionate" (to height), "athletic" or even "thick," or even "a weight that a doctor would find acceptable."
Instead, you have a strict binary way of thinking: That someone can either be fat or THIN; that these are the only two ways to exist. Name one person who wants you to weigh only 102 lbs. Family who's concerned for you would be thrilled to see you get to 170 or 180, as this would take a significant weight load off your body and undoubtedly reduce or even eliminate joint pain and foot pain, and for sure, dramatically improve mobility and stamina. And put the odds in your favor of a much longer life. Not a guarantee, but much higher odds.
Yes, we can all die tomorrow from getting hit by a truck, but ... that's a constant in the equation that gets cancelled out, because it applies to EVERY BODY. But the variable is being significantly overweight. Variables can be changed to improve the lottery draw.
Has it ever occurred to you that your intense aversion to exercise (for ANY reason) and the strict binary thinking is the result of the emotional abuse your parents had inflicted upon you about your size when growing up? This is so obvious.
They really did you in, to the point that you have formulated all sorts of defense and coping mechanisms, including a subjective redefining of the purpose of one's body. Has it never occurred to you that the foot pain is caused by being so heavy, being that you've been heavy since childhood when the foot pain began? It's obvious that you allow your childhood trauma, from hearing criticism from your parents, to live rent-free in your head to this day.
Your coping strategy, then, is to continually create affirmations that "it's okay to be fat," etc. It's almost like revenge against your parents, a la, "Look Mother, I'm very fat, and there's nothing you can do about it!" It's like continuously smacking her back for all the pressure she heaped on you to lose weight growing up. This is all Psychology 101.
Deep down inside you know you need to lose weight -- not get thin -- but drop enough weight to significantly improve your mobility, joint pain, other issues, and swing the odds in your favor that you'll be around for your children later on in their life.
The evidence that deep down inside, you know the reality, is that you must continuously execute affirmations that "all bodies are good bodies, " and "there's nothing wrong with being fat" and "the purpose of my body is relationship."
You struggle with "body peace" a LOT, even though you market yourself as a body peace coach. There's a reason for your struggle: That inner voice is telling you what you must do: NOT get thin, but .... lose enough weight (even to get down to a size 18) to make a very positive change in your health. This doesn't require a crazy gimmicky starvation diet. You can still eat your favorite foods, but ... use portion control. That's all you need to do: portion control.
I'm glad that you can laugh! I admire that. I wanted to defend you but decided it wasn't worth it. If I laugh too, my favorite part is the misuse of psychology 101.
I love this idea that disappointment reveals expectation! Truth.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
i love the question prompts you shared! while reflecting on them, i was noticing how some of the expectations i have of my body are (nasty) gifts from society/the patriarchy/capitalism. i like reframing my perspective to see these expectations as things i can choose to reject (because tearing down oppressive systems is a big value of mine), and rebuild however i want. i also know that i will still experience disappointment, but with freframing i can practice reminding myself that disappointment with my body is not a indication of moral failing.
I love this! Yes to tearing down oppressive systems!
Excellent article. Not only do I deeply relate to what you have written, but I posted an article called “I Will Never Be a Horse”-which uses the time my grandmother called me a cow to discuss the contexts in which our bodies exist. I am happily blown away by the connection of our pieces. Feels validating. 🎯
I've noticed that the only body type other than fatness that you ever reference is "thin" or "thinness." You never mention something along the lines of "medium," "straight-size" (this means neither thin nor overweight), "proportionate" (to height), "athletic" or even "thick," or even "a weight that a doctor would find acceptable."
Instead, you have a strict binary way of thinking: That someone can either be fat or THIN; that these are the only two ways to exist. Name one person who wants you to weigh only 102 lbs. Family who's concerned for you would be thrilled to see you get to 170 or 180, as this would take a significant weight load off your body and undoubtedly reduce or even eliminate joint pain and foot pain, and for sure, dramatically improve mobility and stamina. And put the odds in your favor of a much longer life. Not a guarantee, but much higher odds.
Yes, we can all die tomorrow from getting hit by a truck, but ... that's a constant in the equation that gets cancelled out, because it applies to EVERY BODY. But the variable is being significantly overweight. Variables can be changed to improve the lottery draw.
Has it ever occurred to you that your intense aversion to exercise (for ANY reason) and the strict binary thinking is the result of the emotional abuse your parents had inflicted upon you about your size when growing up? This is so obvious.
They really did you in, to the point that you have formulated all sorts of defense and coping mechanisms, including a subjective redefining of the purpose of one's body. Has it never occurred to you that the foot pain is caused by being so heavy, being that you've been heavy since childhood when the foot pain began? It's obvious that you allow your childhood trauma, from hearing criticism from your parents, to live rent-free in your head to this day.
Your coping strategy, then, is to continually create affirmations that "it's okay to be fat," etc. It's almost like revenge against your parents, a la, "Look Mother, I'm very fat, and there's nothing you can do about it!" It's like continuously smacking her back for all the pressure she heaped on you to lose weight growing up. This is all Psychology 101.
Deep down inside you know you need to lose weight -- not get thin -- but drop enough weight to significantly improve your mobility, joint pain, other issues, and swing the odds in your favor that you'll be around for your children later on in their life.
The evidence that deep down inside, you know the reality, is that you must continuously execute affirmations that "all bodies are good bodies, " and "there's nothing wrong with being fat" and "the purpose of my body is relationship."
You struggle with "body peace" a LOT, even though you market yourself as a body peace coach. There's a reason for your struggle: That inner voice is telling you what you must do: NOT get thin, but .... lose enough weight (even to get down to a size 18) to make a very positive change in your health. This doesn't require a crazy gimmicky starvation diet. You can still eat your favorite foods, but ... use portion control. That's all you need to do: portion control.
lol
I'm glad that you can laugh! I admire that. I wanted to defend you but decided it wasn't worth it. If I laugh too, my favorite part is the misuse of psychology 101.