Fat Friendships
The softness in me calls out to the softness in you
Tuesday was a state testing day at school, so I had ample time to deep dive on any topic I wanted while my students were hard at work and I was monitoring them. We have to check our phones in at the school office at the beginning of the day, and while I don’t like being separated from my phone for any length of time, really, I try to let my brain soak up time just to think.
And friendship was on my mind, specifically my friendships with other fat people.
There’s just so much power in having a friendly encounter with another person who has shared lived experience, particularly that of going through an anti-fat world in a fat body.
This world is sharp, while I am soft.
The softness in me calls out to the softness in you, friend.
It’s the power of representation, is it not? Knowing that I am not alone in my experience of the world.
Fat joy
There is something about living in fat joy and hearing it echoed by another human being. It’s a special resonance when I find a fellow fatty who is safe. And by safe, I mean a fellow fat person who has a fat liberatory mindset. Not all fat people are safe, you know? I’m talking about someone who has done the work—or at least is on the journey—of unlearning deeply ingrained anti-fatness. It’s definitely a process to shed the burden of anti-fatness, and it is especially hard when it is so internalized within fat people ourselves. But when I find a safe fat person, I can share something deeply with them—the joy of being fat!
Fat physicality
Another amazing thing about friendships with safe fat people is the very physicality of our gatherings. I’m not the only one who has thought of the sturdiness of the chairs, the width of the armrests, the distances to and the accessibility of the bathrooms.
There is something magical about taking up space TOGETHER.
In a world that says body size is merely mind over matter, I suggest that fat friendships call out the truth to mind your matter, your physicality.
What do you love about your fat friendships, fellow fat people?
Peace,
Amanda